End of summer

It is the end of summer already, it feels it has just started with many hopes and expectations. Travelling, hiking, cycling and jogging, taking numerous pictures and having countless BBQ dinners - where is all that, I wonder...


What was the time spent on? Or was it invested smartly?
90 days - over 2000 hours... Can you imagine doing something useful half of that time, given people have to rest? 1000 deeds, a skill mastered, a topic explored (like history of India or China), a region travelled, what not. 1000 hours, that's about a 3 year lasting language course of hours squeezed just in one summer. That's about two master programs in International Business long of hours... About 100 books read for a slow reader... 100 books, have you read that much so far? Its about how long it would take to help 1000 friends/just people, given each needs an hour. Did you manage to help one single individual this summer?
1000 hours, and yet we do not have time... No time to pause and think where we are heading... No time to keep the relationships healthy... No time to keep our bodies healthy. What do we waste our time on?

What did I waste my time doing?
Well, it was just partially wasted. I still got 10% to be proud about... Or do I?
Well, I read about 10 books :), went to one golf game out of 10 I could of, took about 10 long runs, revised Chinese about 10 times, painted a few pictures, went to yoga classes, traveled to Russia and walked about fourth of Iceland, made new friends, watched some good movies... Some, but maybe not enough... Would I be different if I would do 100%? Would I be 10 times happier?

What I did a lot this summer though, is thinking, deeply and thoroughly, trying to understand my soul. One thing I got to realise - my mind is not a governer. I have to consider this other ruler, and she speaks in a language that is very implicit, not easy to understand. It requires time... since with time I am sure I can get through any language, even Icelandic be there a need... so does reading the language of my soul requires time. I was a patient reader, but I still can't get it.

So I am spanding my time in idleness might seem, but then in close and often one-sided communication with myself. I am obviously missing up on life that happens without, but then this is my choice to stay within.

Summer is almost over, it went unnoticed as it always does.... I wonder if it feels like that when you close your eyes for the last time... If life feels like a glimpse or like a loooong stare.

P.S.

to the 7 days in hunger...
Feeding two scarily fat fishes in a fishtank, just thought, maybe I should hold this experiment on them first....

Just summer

I am coming to the office with colorful hands lately - all in oil paints. Too bad there is almost nobody to notice...
Well, I was painting quite a bit over weekend left alone in Icelandic winds(btw, you are allowed to laugh at the painting - I was just practising new technique - using glue for drawing and paints just for the background).
It was quite a nice weather though, so I made the longest ride ever on a bike before sitting down with a brush, took me 3 hours to get home.






I was happy, my body wasn't, refused to actively move for the next two days. And my face is all freckled from a friendly sun.

7 days in... hunger

Hmm, could be an interesting experiment - 7 days without food...
Without breakfast, lunch, fruit shake in the afternoon and home made dinner...
Where will all the time go?
How much time do you spend on food? Not just eating, but also thinking what to eat, fetching the food (unless you have a personal cook), digesting and thinking either "I should have eaten a bit more of that (put your favorite here) or "I should have skipped that desert", doing dishes (again unless you have a personal cook or a wife, which is the same anyway) and planning for the next meal. Gosh, a rough calculation gives 3 hours a day spent (wasted) on food. 3 hours? and I can't find 5 minutes to iron a dress that I wear tomorrow to work? Or finish a book that has been lent to me 3 years ago (well, the person has left the country already, but if he comes back, his book is still drying among the 500 unfinished books on a dusty shelf). How about finishing that painting? Or finally cleaning up my Canon (some kind person shared fruity drink with my camera once, two years ago actually), maybe it's time to get rid of that sticky stuff?

Well, it's not just about the time(my presious :); and I get a bit more of it than many - since I can't stand sleeping in and missing life in the morning hours).
It is also about the senses, behaviours and thoughts. What if I get to be even more irritated or anxious? Maybe it will bring me so much more energy? Maybe I will loose consciousness for the first time in my life? Or maybe I will start dreaming happy dreams where all happens as you plan and you plan as is right?

Maybe, maybe - I would not know until I try. So I am going to try. Not tomorrow, but soon and you will know, since I will make sure to share this with you (in case I am suffering, it is better when it's shared).
I suppose my readers (if I have any) are happy people that a quite comfortable with their lifes and time and thought and behaviours and ... whatever else people are doing when they are not eating, I guess they would not want to join me in this experiment. Otherwise, you know where find me.

Florence

That multidimentional Rome

Rome

Roman holidays

Loud outside because of traffic and people. Many sights mixing up in the head, immense historical value... But people, liveliness of piazzas that what matters.

Coffee pot

It's after midnight. Since I am posting, I am obviously not sleeping... That cup of coffee in the afternoon took a good control over mind - thoughts are running a marathone - very crouded.
No way I could meet the Morphey any time soon. Well maybe I overdosed, in a coffee sence, but then that's what they serve in Sufistin - real coffee pots. And I like it... in the afternoon... and I do not at night.
Which book to pick this time...

On a rainy day...

It usually on a rainy day you realize that there are so many things to do outside: go jogging or cycling or maybe picking up stones somewhere for something... And yes, the rain starts just to interrupt your plans, just for that. On a rainy day, you realize that you like sun and bright colors... On a rainy day you get stuck in you place and dream about good weather and draw it sometimes...

What to do at home

Is it a question you are asking yourself sometimes?
This might be the question I ask every day... Poor people that have to hear it way too often.
Every day has to be special... How do you make every day special? How do you tell one from another if nothing particular is happening? I used to do it by subjects at school :), since they would be in different days of the week, then by meetings I had to attend, then by places I have visited... Now I do it by small achievements. Drawing or painting,


finishing a book, taking a photo shoot walk or watching a good movie.
And it's not that you have nothing to do, it's just this believe that everything has to be for something. Do you follow me? Do you have it as well? Whatever you do has to have a purpose, be aligned with something else which together with previously aligned actions would bring you somewhere where you want to be... even if you do not know yet where is that.

What do you want in life?

Do you really know what you want in life? Are you sure that still would be what you wanted when you get it?
I was just thinking today, the life is too short for making wrong choices... Say you go to Starbucks and get that latte with cinnamon syrup you never tried before. You make a sip and you know - this is a ruined experience. Now, there is tomorrow, or next week, or next year in New York, when you would know which coffee is out of list of trials :). Some choices are more impactful unfortunately, you can't deal with them just by throwing to trash bean if you do not like the outcome of your choice tomorrow.
And what is interesting, sometimes we are just unable to connect the choice to the outcome at all. Say, you choose that fatty burger too many times over that plain salad, or you choose to neglect the exam book and lean back to watch Dr. House and you have exam tomorrow, or you choose to ignore work e-mails from boring partners... But I am sure if we would be faced with an outcome straight away, just at the moment when we make decision, we would not have chosen that high cholesterol, failing an exam or manager complaint on your work habbits. How is that for a choice - missing a plane! Who wants that? But how many of us catch it just by minutes?
Lifestyle choices, eating habbits, exercising, work and relationship, friendships... What do we choose, where will it get us? What do you think? What do you say? What do you ask? What do you read? Why do you read this? Go read smething else written by someone who knew what he wanted in life and chose to act upon it....

Catching up

It is amazing how fast the time went by... It feels I just got back from far away, it was winter and the whole unknown experiense was still blinking ahead. It is in the past now, almost four months filled with questions, doubts, small victories, couple of losses, smiles, laughs, a few tear drops... lectures, group works, exams... and a couple of more oil paintings.

This is an evaluation of my consious and unconsious doings, since I do get carried away sometimes and go with a strim without resuming the control for too long. Not an easy task either...
Why is this needed? Maybe another chapter of my life is just about to come to an end... I am done with my Masters, AIESEC, and I think I got older as well :) anyway there are reasons for change. Maybe, I am still hoping to find a purpose in this crushing world, maybe the flattened world is just too attractive to get calm and settle in one place. Or maybe for too long I did not ask myself those important questions that, when answered, let you know who you really are...

Hmmm, maybe I should take another a break now.

Celebration

It is already today, still have not slept.
The new semester starts... managing studies, work and just life... in a relationship. I am excited, doubt I will sleep tonight.

Well, to say my byes to an easy life, I had celebrated: first alone, in the herb smell of baking bread in the morning;


then in Kaffitar with a friend catching up on half year long happenings; and biting on a chewy brownies, that I made just few minutes ago with Dvorak on the background.


I am fully prepared now...

Apple

It was such a nice smell of green apples in the apartment and such a strong wind against the window - one can't sleep these nights. I suddenly had an urge to draw at 2 in the morning.
Somewhat clumsy result of combination of circumstances:

Sunday

Well, seems like this is going to turn into real 'just life' blog - simple things that make it.

Not many things can be better than waking up before 7 am on Sunday and making freshly baked bread for breakfast. Or drawing still life with set of pastels. Or listening to Tchaikovsky and making a necklace out of beads or pearls or just anything.

So the blog is going to be about these small steps that make my life interesting, or better to say that just make my life.