What was the time spent on? Or was it invested smartly?
90 days - over 2000 hours... Can you imagine doing something useful half of that time, given people have to rest? 1000 deeds, a skill mastered, a topic explored (like history of India or China), a region travelled, what not. 1000 hours, that's about a 3 year lasting language course of hours squeezed just in one summer. That's about two master programs in International Business long of hours... About 100 books read for a slow reader... 100 books, have you read that much so far? Its about how long it would take to help 1000 friends/just people, given each needs an hour. Did you manage to help one single individual this summer?
1000 hours, and yet we do not have time... No time to pause and think where we are heading... No time to keep the relationships healthy... No time to keep our bodies healthy. What do we waste our time on?
What did I waste my time doing?
Well, it was just partially wasted. I still got 10% to be proud about... Or do I?
Well, I read about 10 books :), went to one golf game out of 10 I could of, took about 10 long runs, revised Chinese about 10 times, painted a few pictures, went to yoga classes, traveled to Russia and walked about fourth of Iceland, made new friends, watched some good movies... Some, but maybe not enough... Would I be different if I would do 100%? Would I be 10 times happier?
What I did a lot this summer though, is thinking, deeply and thoroughly, trying to understand my soul. One thing I got to realise - my mind is not a governer. I have to consider this other ruler, and she speaks in a language that is very implicit, not easy to understand. It requires time... since with time I am sure I can get through any language, even Icelandic be there a need... so does reading the language of my soul requires time. I was a patient reader, but I still can't get it.
So I am spanding my time in idleness might seem, but then in close and often one-sided communication with myself. I am obviously missing up on life that happens without, but then this is my choice to stay within.
Summer is almost over, it went unnoticed as it always does.... I wonder if it feels like that when you close your eyes for the last time... If life feels like a glimpse or like a loooong stare.
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