Night struggles

Once again, airport.

People all around…noisy to the point when it does not matter anymore... Take your shoes off.. Russian? ah – let me look your passport through…longer than others’, much longer…
It’s stormy, flight was delayed. Making myself comfortable on a chair next to the window. Am I sad? no… you can’t control the weather…my connection flight might be lost, but I will figure something out, or someone will for me.
Listening to Tom Waits…lightning is making its appearance through the window, not worse than laser show in Stone Mountain Park.
It’s my vacation. Starts right now…or not, seems like delay is even longer. Well, it was my choice of flight and as all the choices the outcome is never predictable. What is positive in this? Time – I got some time off routine… Think of it, how often do you get this forced privacy with yourself, when you can’t run away… when you forced to think… well, I see quite many of those moments in a few months to come, but in general there is always escape… in TV, msn, phone…
Lazy thoughts start crawling in my head… did I learn something? How do I know if I did? How did I use this time? It’s part of overall experience…does it make a nice piece in the big picture?
Questions, questions without answers. Someone has to help, I am no good in answering questions…
I am always asking though…asking everybody – taxi drivers, co-workers, co-joggers, everybody open for a talk… and they answer, straight and honest – why do they answer? They think out loud, I guess, taken out of their usual pattern of small talk.
What do I ask, something I cannot answer, something that fascinates me … relationship, career, motivation – what makes you wake up and carry on every day? What makes you happy? What do you think and do not think about? Do you actually think what you think you think? Or you just say it, because it sounds nice?
I do not joke… I just have questions… jokes have answers, or at least they do not have questions…
There is someone that looks like Tony Robbins… he was my friend for this month (I was listening to him every morning while jogging), learning and changing… getting disappointed and reestablishing balance.
Well, I guess I have to do something about my tickets, that 1 mile line does not particularly excite me, but then not everything in life is exciting… besides I have a book to kill the distance. And what a book!!! If you have carried alone to this point of my aimless typewriting practice, you would like it as well…
Honestly surprised by my calmness and indifference, I am joining the crowd… being 47 in the line for the plane that leaves in 10 minutes.