Random

Have you ever thought why you are doing things you do not mean to do, those that do not feel right neither in the process of doing nor when they are done? Often, those are words that leave our mouth - words that maybe we regret later... being rude, aggressive or just ignorant of people's feelings. (If you do not do any of those, maybe you can become my mentor...) Just being random and a bit separating from yourself and being a spectator in your own life. Is it a weakness... or opposite? Is it an impulsive test?
Turning upside down the whole group dynamics - can you do that? Don't you feel powerful then? Is it bad?

Just had an experience recently: it was a bit of test as well as just letting it out. A bit of stress, a bit of pressure, a bit of dissatisfaction with each other. We can be polite (or dishonest) and say all is good...or be a bit straightforward...or maybe not just a bit till the point of fingerprinting. We did just that, fingers as swards were raising in the airs in opposite from us direction. It was childish... it was destructive, and all in all I knew it should not be done. It was a bit of masochistic approach - how low can we fall? How painful the experience can be? And at the same time knowing that at any point in time you can stop it. Power, ha?

Seating at the session after sleepless night at the international conference in Brazil, listening and falling out of communicated message... peaking up my own thoughts line. It is not too straight, more curvy. Was thinking a lot recently about communication, interpretation.
Some thoughts just are not leaving anymore, tired of coming back anyway...
What is my purpose? Do I have it? how do I know I do (not)? How do I deal with s ocial conditioning? What if ambitions do not support passions? How to learn to read yourself? How do you know you are passionate? How do you know it is time to leave if not?

Do you know the answers? Do you have same questions? Do you bother to think?

Do you know that in best case scenario you have 60 years left (if you are same age as me)? Do you know that with every passing day you have less? Do you know that each day is a small projection of your life? Can you see what your life is like? Are you happy?